


in nobody's eyes but mine

by weightedlive



Category: Dimension 20 (Web Series)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Lots Of Flowery Language, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, POV Alternating, Poetic, Songfic, Underage Smoking, andy you're a star, based on a killers song, it's not that sad I swear, mostly internalized but still, no names we die like men, only pronouns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:28:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28162446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weightedlive/pseuds/weightedlive
Summary: the first time was a mistake.the second time was also a mistake.the third time was the only thing they had done right.---based on andy you're a star by the killers
Relationships: Riz Gukgak/Fabian Aramais Seacaster
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	in nobody's eyes but mine

The first time had been a mistake. 

They were both too young, too immature to understand how everything would change between them. It was all a blur of gentle caresses turned to be pushed against a wall, a soft kiss that became desperate moaning into mouths. They hadn’t remembered to lock the door or to remove their clothes all the way, but what they felt had been too real to think about the superficial things like that.

They collapsed onto each other afterward, breaths heavy with the burden of a racing heart and thoughts clouded by the smoke that had slipped past their lips. The stench of sex and sweat covered them like rain, unmistakable, and unavoidable. 

That Monday neither of them said a word when they passed in the hall, but the boy with the soft curls in his hair couldn’t help but feel a rose begin to bloom in his chest, pretty and pink like his lips, or the flush that had spread across his cheeks when he unbuckled his belt.

He stood tall in line with his teammates, trying to ignore the thoughts of the boy with the softest eyes and prettiest whines he had ever heard. His uniform clung tight to him and he couldn’t help but imagine the boy pulling it off him, pushing him down onto the bed like he had done that night and smiling that smile, that goddamned smile.

The second time was also a mistake.

His teammates had dared him to write his number on the boy’s locker, hurling slurs like daggers from under their breaths as they watched from a distance to see his reaction. When he walked up, his eyes, permanently half-lidded and sleepy, opened wider than he had ever seen. He felt his stomach turn in on itself and his feet sink into the ground as the boy smiled out of the corner of his mouth, pressing the digits into his phone before turning back down the hall.

His teammates had shoved and warned him of the lude photos he’d be sent, and he had laughed along with them, but he laid in bed that night and lost himself in the eyes that looked at him with such hunger he couldn’t help but let the boy’s name slip through his lips over and over again. 

He knew the number was his, it had to be. He also knew that it was his teammates that had made him write his number in uneven digits on his locker. He didn’t care about that though, he just let himself feel the satisfaction of pressing the name into his phone and putting it aside for later.

It was over a week later when the call came. He had been working for hours, and his body felt like melting into someone that could make him feel better than any amount of caffeine would. The words were short and simple, but it felt like hours had passed before the boy with the blue eyes brighter than the moon crawled through his window and kissed him like he was the last person on Earth. Tender kisses turned to shirts thrown to the ground, hands trailing against every exposed area of skin. He trembled underneath his weight, breathing his name with each movement of his hips. It felt like he was floating on air, and the boy on top of him let himself indulge in his sickest fantasies as he felt a hand wrap around his throat and the other pull on his platinum hair.

They woke up together, tangled in the dark sheets that were stained with the evidence of their relationship. He had looked at him with those eyes that twinkled like stars and fell hard, harder than he had ever before. The rose in his chest grew with a vigor, sprouting thorns that grew into his throat and heart, ripping through his skin where the boy had touched him so tenderly. 

He left that morning with a sweet kiss, pure like fire. He had laughed at the puckered bruises left across his chest in the mirror, running his hands over them and letting his breath shudder at the touch.

They didn’t speak again for months.

The rose began to wilt in his chest, losing petals with each cloud of smoke that entered his lungs. He had started to smoke, a reminder of him. He saw the boy with stars for eyes cling to a girl as he had with him, trailing his fingers over her arms so tenderly he felt his heart ache in his chest. He heard the story of them in the parking lot, touching each other like they once had. He had taken to something stronger than what he smoked, but still, let himself picture those eyes digging through him with the intensity of the sun when he was so far gone he couldn’t stop himself.

The boy hid in the shadow of a girl he didn’t love, digging his fingernails into his palm anytime he imagined the boy who his teammates called a freak moving against him in the dimness of the night. He couldn’t think like that, he couldn’t be like that. He wasn’t allowed to be.

He tumbled off his cloud when he mumbled the boy’s name against the girl’s lips, his skin hot and slick with sweat that he couldn’t help but get lost in. She had pushed him away, and the shock began to take over his body as he grabbed his things and left, fallen from grace.

Whispers of what he had done spread through the students like a plague, hints of what had happened growing like a tumor in the minds of the school. He was cast aside and left to rot in the shadow of his former life. He couldn’t bear to look at his name on the golden plaque outside the gym, couldn’t stand to occupy the hall and know every eye was on him, judging him.

He had called him before lunch had started. The boy with sleepy eyes didn’t come to school often, preferring to lay against his pillows and lose himself in fantasy now. He climbed through his window as he did those many months ago, watching the boy’s chest rise and fall as he lay on his back.

The third time was the only thing they had done right.

He fell onto the bed with a sob bubbling into his chest, letting his insides spill all over him like a hurricane. The boy had sat up and wrapped his arms around him, and it felt like they were the only people in the entire world. They stayed like that for hours, whispering stories back and forth that made them laugh and cry. It was the first time they had heard the other laugh. 

As the light faded from the sky, their closeness made their skin crawl with want. They kissed again, with so much promise that the rose that had died in the boy’s chest resurrected and bloomed a deep red that spread through him like a fire. The boy with stars for eyes fell into him as a wave crashed into the shore, rolling over him in beautiful intensity.

They were slow now, gingerly trailing their hands along the other’s skin. Their kisses told each other everything they couldn’t say. When the boy with stars for eyes crawled on top of the other boy and looked at him so softly he could melt, they didn’t feel like it was wrong. He reveled in the noises that came from below him when he drew his lips against his neck and ran his hands across his hips. It was sweet and slow, each movement making the other tremble and whisper a thank you to whatever being let them feel like this.

The boy with sleepy eyes came slowly, his body tensing against the other. His cheeks flushed pink, so soft and sweet the other boy couldn’t help but do the same.

They lay against each other in the darkness of the bedroom, letting their heavy breaths say everything they couldn’t say. They knew at this moment it was right, in the warmth between them and the sound of their own breathing. They felt at peace now, together.


End file.
